Going mad, moving Fast??

I felt like i was going to go mad.
What they did. how was I going to react.
Do I acutely understand why? Do I acutely see straight.

Can I stay this way unblinded, can I fall in to line.
Be what he expects? Laugh with a fake laugh at everything an anything?
I like Fiona I do, but what if she is hurting him wouldn't lucky be so lucky?
who else. do I even want to know do I dare believe my first fear i saw. he told me no forget it she wasn't stay out of it.
How can I?

Then then Oh you came, I swear only in a dream did I think you would come. This this new life. this was the secret this was why you ran. I understand everything now. the secrets. Every ones got a secret but now I'm a part of your's apart of this world. This night life.

You came at the best time, you will help me I will be good. I must for every thing I love. My family all of them. Fiona Niko Brian Ace Victoria, every one everything I am now. I must bite my tongue sit here nod smile put on the fake emotions even if I don't want to I must learn to play a perfect piece at this game of chess

Am I going mad am I moving to fast, or is it just I am understanding this world of ours this Family of mine. Lovers, friends some one to spending time with when alone in this world. Is that all Fiona looks for. affection? Thats the same as me maybe they wont hate that me an Ace want to be together even so fast. We did have our past wants an desires.. the only thing that kept me from his arms was his secret..
This secret that I now am a part of.
This world.

So no i'm not going mad. I'm learning
am I moving to fast? Again No I am just catching up.